Grape Jelly Break

As I was watching this commercial, I realized that it actually looks good to me. It's basically like a toaster strudel, and about three people in the world know how many of those I ate as a teenager...

Just take some good old white bread, slather on some cream cheese....



Add just a tiny, tiny dab of the jelly of your choice...



Butter both sides...



Then dip it in some eggy mixture and fry the thing.





Think I might make a version of this tomorrow.

Classic Penis Pasta Post: Bachelorette Party

Some screen grabs from "The Party" (1988).


I can't say I'd recommend watching this feature film, but it did yield some classic bachelorette party moments. Here are some of its better ones....

Classic way to propose to your lady is on a rented raft.





Didn't realize they had The View in the 80's. But more than that, I didn't know it was standard procedure to invite the press in for your bachelorette party. I guess some things we will never figure out.



Invite a young Catherine Keener to your party--it'll be way better!





I can only wish I will live long enough to give my granddaughter crotchless panties for her wedding night.



Thanks, Gramma!



Unveiling the "donkey"...


...it's not a party 'til someone fellates a clown.





But it can't go up to eleven until someone sets off the party alarm!







I appreciate the attention to detail they've paid--turning around the toy as well as the dudes.









Get this woman some chocolate, a drink, or a penis STAT!

Milky the Milking Cow

Best toy I never had...MILKY! I'll let the pictures do the talking:





You simply fill up her udders with white powder...





Push her head down into a trough of water...





Crank that MF's tail....





Then squeeze out the viscous white fluid.








That'll really ring Milky's bell!